How do you approach your birthdays? 

Is it a time of reflection? Joy? Celebration? Fear? Overwhelm? 

Do you tend to get anxious or down on yourself leading up to your birthday?

It’s natural as time moves on to reflect and wonder if things really are as they “should” be, or if you’ve “done”enough. 

For you, maybe it’s your birthday (or maybe it’s new years or other special events or challenges) where you think of where you are. Maybe there’s a sense of lack for not being where you thought you would like to be by this time in your life.

Maybe even experiencing that feeling of isolation or loneliness in who you are or in the relationships you have or don’t have or the path you’re on. Maybe you’re starting to notice changing looks and perceiving a loss or soon-to-be fleeting beauty. 

Regardless of where you are and what may tend to get you reeling and feeling down…I’ve found intention plays a huge role in how we feel on our big day and the time leading up to it. 

18 years ago I made a big promise to myself and it’s shifted my entire life since. Today, I’m sharing it with you. 

“I’M GOING TO FEEL BETTER EVERY YEAR FROM HERE ON OUT…WHATEVER IT TAKES.” 

These are the exact words I said to myself.

I remember at 24, a few months before turning 25 I started to feel really fearful. Up until that point I often felt self-conscious and too young to be doing what I was doing–then it flipped. Out of nowhere, just one day I woke up and felt scared. I was scared of being too old in the near future. 30 started to feel a whole lot closer and I was worried about what that might mean. 

I was on the treadmill working hard to feel “perfect” when all of a sudden I said those words under my breath. “I’m going to feel better every year from here on out…whatever it takes.”

I moved from being goal oriented (at that moment on my physical body for my party) to starting to soften and create intentionally.

I started to ask new questions. 

What would it take to feel better each year? 

Could it be possible? 

I didn’t truly know what it meant in that moment, but it’s been something that has guided me, my intentions and opportunities that have come to me because of my clarity and commitment in that moment that I’ve held onto every year since. 

Now I don’t consider this a goal, because there’s nothing specific attached to it. It changes every year based on the areas of life where I feel called to make the most progress. And, I get clear each year what it would take to feel even more vital, alive, free and beautiful in this physical body. 

It doesn’t mean everything is perfect or that I’m suddenly looking younger or skinnier than I did at 26. That wasn’t the intention. 

Being intentional and making progress each year leads to deeper and more meaningful fulfillment. 

My birthday is in July (in just a few days) and I notice around March or April every year I really start to focus on what’s most important to me. 

Now that it’s 18 years later what’s amazed me the most is the feeling I have around my birthday. The ease I’m able to feel. The appreciation in my body and my looks through different seasons. The progress has been helpful, but I’m even more grateful to feel even better about myself now than at 25. 

This year I’m getting ready to turn 42, I’ve been asking myself and reflecting on some of the questions below. 

Here are some questions you can ask:

(these are some quality questions with or without a birthday around the corner): 

Is what I’m currently doing still working for me? 

What are some areas where I would like to grow? 

Am I supporting my physical body? Wellness? 

Where have I been overstretching myself? Am I saying yes when I mean no? Where do I want to be even more intentional with my time and energy? 

Am I loving myself each day? 

Am I building my financial health? 

Making time for my spiritual practices? 

Where are my relationships? Friends, family, partnership, business, social? 

How vital are you from today since your last birthday? Do you feel more or less alive, fulfilled, clear and healthy? What’s happened for you this past year? How is your vitality, energy, health, mental and emotional capacity?

How clear are you on your life’s calling? Check in on a scale of 1-10 with yourself? There’s always room for your purpose to expand and evolve. Especially as new life stages happen. (Marriage, babies, kids leaving the home, divorce, new career.) As you are today, are you focused and inspired daily? Or are you distracting yourself and having trouble committing to You and your growth? Wherever you are on this scale, what’s next for you? If you’d like support, I’m here to help so please feel free to reach out. Click here to message me.

How clear is your vision for the legacy you wish to leave? This doesn’t mean it’s all strategized yet, but it may mean you’re starting to envision it and maybe even taking steps towards this reality and starting to know what this looks like with the information you have now. 

My big intention is using this time wisely to commit to new practices and habits. To stop making things ok or just how they are. To gain clarity on what’s no longer serving me and choose where I want to be and what steps are necessary to create that reality. 

Remember, when your energy is low and your health isn’t where you want it to be, it’s challenging to make sustainable progress without burning out. 

Here are a few things I’ve done over the years to give you some ideas: 

(this is just to help you brainstorm and think about what’s congruent to who you are.)

🎂At 28 Worked at and participated in over 20 personal development events that year as my highest value was (and is) learning.

🎂At 29 I did a 10-day silent retreat. I went without my phone, any connection or time with others and was able to process through a lot. 

🎂At 30 I was more social. I moved to Los Angeles. I committed to my work and vision for myself and life in a new way. My friends threw me a beautiful pole-dancing pajama party that felt so nourishing to my soul and where I wanted this decade to be. 

🎂Many years I’ve done between 1-3 weeks away cleansing somewhere focused on healing and fueling my body and serving my clients. 

🎂At 34 I taught yoga and workshops almost daily for the months leading up to and on my birthday. 

🎂At 38, I started a new lifestyle cleanse that I loved and have mainly kept up since. It drastically healed my gut and physical health and changed my future. 

🎂At 40, I really enjoyed being social and threw a beautiful weekend gathering with close friends and family. I started intentionally integrating work, hiking, play and making time for connections again. I also made space to really embrace a new chapter and a new decade to come. I released a lot of fear and expectations and did daily coaching for myself for years. With no exact goal or idea what that meant, I created my best chapter yet getting pregnant with my daughter. (more to come on this…)

🎂At 41, I traveled to Hawaii to enjoy time grounding and nourishing myself in nature setting the tone for my next decade and inviting my daughter in to join earthside soon after I turned 41.

🎂At 42, it’s all about a new way of being and upleveling for myself, my family and all of you. I’m building back my strength, starting to reintegrate, taking care of myself again and finding my rhythm as a new working, single mom who still highly values a spiritual and self-care practice.

MY INTENTION FOR YOU IS THAT YOU TAKE THE TIME TO CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE WHATEVER IS MOST NOURISHING FOR YOU. 

We don’t have to believe that aging has to feel bad or accept that some things are just worse over time. 

Yes, some things will change. We age. And, we can do it being the most connected, vital and inspired version of ourselves regardless of if we still have perfect skin or can fit into our old skinny jeans. 

Progress is fulfilling.

When we improve, connect to our spirit and love who we are beyond this physical body–we age gracefully. 

While all of this is possible all year-round and something we live more and more present to each day, the truth is it’s helpful to have something like a birthday, meaningful event or new years to look at where we’ve been, where we’re going and who we are. 

I’m off to celebrate today through Monday. 

My intention and invitation is for you to reflect and take some time for yourself and being present with what you’re creating. 

Wishing you a fabulous weekend and I’d love to hear any tips you love to focus on as you approach your birthdays! 

With love,
Laurin 
xx