Personal Growth & Inspiration

Here’s an often missing link to knowing yourself

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I was inspired to write today’s post after a call where I felt myself feeling a bit down and disempowered when I hung up. 

I sat quietly for a few minutes when the call ended to feel the discomfort in my body first. I allowed the body sensations, tensions, little fears that felt stuck in my heart center, gut, shoulders and toes, to move through my body. 

With this physical and energetic space open–I was able to move from being down and extra hard on myself to being curious instead. 

What was really going on?   

Why was I overwhelmed with self-doubt? 

The answer came in quickly–Values. I literally heard that go through my mind. 

I realized I wasn’t honoring my values as they are. My highest value has shifted and when I compare myself, I’m often focusing on lower priorities. From there, of course, I’ll feel less than. I’m subordinating what’s most important to me and thinking I should be able to do more. 

I can’t expect myself to live in someone else’s values and be fully myself. And, I can’t ‘should’ all over myself and have the energy to be fully engaged and inspired in what I would love to do.

Values aren’t about morality, judgments or being good or bad…they’re about helping you tap into your most authentic version of yourself. 

When we use “values” to compare ourselves or to put others down, it’s feedback you’re not truly knowing and living according to your highest values. 

Values are a way of being.

Direct actions you take that inspire you, that engage you and help you get connected. They are not some grandiose ideals of how you should be or how others should be. This is a big myth about understanding values.

Once clients go through the values process, I’m always inspired by the level of personal freedom and authenticity that follows. 

I’ve heard statements like:

“WOW, I feel like I finally know myself.” and 

“This is so simple, I do this every day and yet somehow I missed this completely. I feel so much freedom and love for who I am and the way I use my gifts.” 

I realized I haven’t offered any values work in a little bit…so I figured what better time than now to dive in and uncover your own values. 

After this call, I forgot to honor and be present with my new values and how those were/are serving me now. They may shift again too, which is why I love and recommend doing the Values process a few times each year. 

Sometimes the values themselves are the same, but the form changes. And, sometimes we just need to bring our awareness to what is working or any subtle shifts even with the same values to help us reprioritize. 

When you aren’t aware of what’s true for you in your present season, it’s easy to compare yourself to what could/should be. This is always an emotional and invalidating path. 

I’ve heard lots of different teachers and clients discuss values and while they can carry many meanings, the perspective I’m sharing comes from a foundation of Dr. John Demartini’s Values Determination Process. 

What I love about his process and line of questioning is: 

1. How simple it is. 

2. How it is an objective view of where you truly spend your time, energy and resources that allow you to see what’s present and where you may be unconscious 

3. The lack of judgment. 

I’ve participated in dozens of other values processes that have either morality or opinions attached to the outcome. 

If you just valued x more, then you’d be happy or truly successful. This is so subjective and not true. There’s a perceived hierarchy of values that should be. I’ve found this not only to be extremely unhelpful, but often causes people to lose themselves and feel even worse and miss their true superpower of being their most authentic selves. 

Knowing Your Values Allows You To Be You.

When we’re living in our lower values or unclear about what to do, we often subordinate who we are. We live in what’s important to other people first and can feel lost in the process. Over time, the resentment can grow. And, ultimately, the trust within ourselves can feel lost. 

Here are some questions for you to see if this may be a fit for you:

  • Do you often find yourself comparing yourself to others? 
  • Do you find yourself saying yes to someone else, or to do something, and then feel drained afterwards? Do you consider yourself a pleaser? 
  • Do you lack consistency, organization, enthusiasm and energy for what you say you want? 
  • Are you guilty of procrastination? 
  • Do you spend money and then feel regret or a loss? 
  • Are you intentional with how you invest your time, energy, network and money? 
  • Do you find yourself making decisions out of fear, scarcity, control or distrust of yourself and your abilities? 
  • Do you want to know your current values? 

Now, any area where you want to expand or reach an outcome where you don’t see a direct path of how it supports your highest values, you will procrastinate, hesitate, frustrate and have doubt about why you aren’t/can’t follow through and eventually have blame externally or internalize this as something that’s wrong with you.  

All this is feedback that something you say you want isn’t yet aligned with your current highest values. 

You can either link an outcome to our current values until something becomes a spontaneously inspired action, or you can let it go and focus on what you’d love to do. 

When you do something out of desperation, need, security, have to’s, the energy you bring is very different that when you’re in your heart and crown connected to what you love and what inspires you most. The lower energies cause self-doubt, self-minimization, comparison and defeat and can lead to lethargy, depression and anxiety. 

Now, how can you move from what you don’t want to what you do want? 

You can get in touch with yourself in a few ways. Values being the first. 

I’ve heard the feedback that some of you have requested for short audios and more guided meditations and teachings for specific topics that are easy to use on-the-go. 

Since this weekend is Memorial Day in the States and you may be traveling or have some extra time cooking, on the beach, exploring or hanging at home… it’s a great time to focus on your personal freedom and how you choose to show up for yourself this summer season and in this next season of your life. 

  • Learn more about values
  • Difference between self-worth and self-esteem 
  • Discover or realign your values over and over again at your own pace

This process has helped me:

  • Make multiple 7 figures
  • Have new business ideas
  • Expand my capacity
  • Reach new health goals
  • Purchase investment properties 
  • Connect to people in new ways 
  • Enhance communication and build meaningful relationships and partnerships…

And, I’d say most importantly, it’s helped me reconnect to and love myself even more.

When I see and honor my highest values I’ve had tears of ease and gratitude for who I am and how I’ve chosen to live my life. My self-worth and confidence rise and I step fully into myself without having to posture or do something externally for validation to just feel better. 

Also, I know some of you will ask. Yes, I have a few spots open for those of you that prefer 1:1 and would like to dial in your unique values. (see the p.s. If you want this option)

Even if a dozen of us have the same highest value sitting in a room—how each of us feels fulfilled by this value and how we perceive it would differ. 

See you soon.


P.S. Looking for 1:1? Please fill out this form here if you’d like to schedule a session. 

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Hi, I’m Laurin, and I love guiding people to live their best lives. 

Over the last 12 years I’ve worked with thousands of people around the world helping them breakthrough whatever has been holding them back from being their most connected, inspired and fulfilled selves. I love to hold space for whatever you may be going through as we dive deep together. I’m here to meet you where you’re at and be a true part of your support system as you heal and grow in your life. As a lifelong learner of personal development and someone who loves building towards mastery across all areas of life, I incorporate and bring the world’s latest and greatest resources to you.