I realized the other day there’s a fine line between having too tight of a schedule and being too open. 

On one side there’s no room to fit anything else in. On the other side, even when you have open time, there’s such a lack of structure. Maybe you’re floundering a bit and not even sure what to do with yourself.

On either side, this can feel overwhelming, unproductive and create a lot of tension. 

I was inspired to write on this topic after a morning out and about. I took my daughter to one of our first gym classes and she had a 20 minute nap that got disturbed. She woke up cranky and obviously still tired, but I really wanted to try out this class I had planned to attend. 

In some ways, I was rigid in my plan for her for the day, while also leaving so much flexibility on her nap schedule. I just figured we’d fit in a nap and try again in a few hours. 

We went off to class and things started off really well. About halfway through she was rubbing her eyes for a minute then stopped so I let it go. (I know better, but at this moment I really wanted to stay.) 

This is where this fine line can be sneaky.

If you want to be intentional with your time and energy and create easeful moments…it’s worth paying attention to your desires, schedule and priorities and taking that moment to pause, plan and course correct for everyone’s best interest. 

I decided to stay until the end of class. At the end, my dad (who took us there) asked to run a few errands. 

Without even hesitating I just said “sure, she can just nap when we’re done.” And, we started driving.

What looks like flexibility and flow, was not true flow state and ease though. 

About 10 minutes in and farther from our house, my daughter started crying and now I could tell how badly she needed a nap and to be held after all that stimulation from class. 

I asked to pull over into a parking lot to feed her and hold her until she calmed down. 

I felt myself tense up everywhere and feel stressed. I felt overwhelmed with a few free hours and found myself wondering how to fit everything in. 

It can be easy to spiral. I took a few breaths, did a quick body scan while I fed her and went to my heart center to choose how I wanted our afternoon to be. I wanted ease and time to connect meaningfully with my girl. So we headed home. She went down for her nap and I came to write this message.

There are so many opportunities whether it’s in your business, balancing multiple areas of life, a workout routine, mindful eating practices, communication, relationships…where a routine is helpful but overstructure can be stagnating. And, no structure can mean inconsistent trust, progress and results. 

How often do you check in whether you’re getting the results you want? 

With this example, here’s what could’ve helped lead to a different result. When her nap was cut short it would’ve been a great time for me to ask if now was a good class time for us. 

Another opportunity would’ve been mid-class when she was obviously tired. Maybe it would have made sense to leave early and go home for her nap. Then again when my dad asked about running his errands.

 

I blew past all of these and didn’t take time out to pause and create the experience that would’ve felt the best. 

Usually, I’m pretty mindful about this so it was an obvious miss for me. But also an easy topic for me to dive right into sharing in hopes of saving you time and discomfort and missed opportunities. 

Here are some questions I invite you to ask yourself: 

Is what you’re doing working for you? 

Is there one or more areas where you’re under-scheduled or over-scheduled? 

Do you feel stressed out? Do you lack structure? Or, are you overwhelmed with structure? 

Are you getting the results you want? 

Do you find yourself on one extreme or the other? 

Do you tend to be controlling and rigid, or spontaneous and flexible? 

Can you live in the in between? Meaning–can you be comfortable with a combination of both space and structure when they serve you and your goals?

Tips to notice if it’s time to make a shift? 

• Are you focused on something meaningful to you? 
• Are you able to be present? Mindful in your moment? 
• Are you experiencing tension in the moment or thinking ahead when saying yes? 
• Do you have space in your calendar and mentally/emotionally for shifts in scheduling and plans so you can say yes to something in flow and inspiring? 
• Do you have time to pause and be present to magical moments? 

What Can You Do In The Moment To Make A Shift? 

• Stop what you’re doing. 
• Take a few breaths and focus on what you’re wanting to accomplish. 
• Are you actually doing that the way you’re spending your time? 
• What could you do instead? What could allow even more space to accomplish your outcome and have a win-win scenario. 

For example, when I saw Chloe fussy and overtired. I could stop, pause and take a few breaths. 

My outcome was to have connected quality time with her and offer an opportunity for her to try something new. 

We had already achieved that by halfway through. If I had paused before leaving the house and thought about my outcome, I may have chosen the 5 PM class and cuddled up for a nap nursing her and tried something new later. 

When we focus on what we want to achieve and breakdown the different components…there are many different ways to get there. 

Personally, I like the middle ground a lot of the time. I prioritize for more of a rhythm and certain chunks scheduled into my day rather than a super rigid schedule. This is you finding what works best for you. 

What can help you most this week? A bit more structure in one or more areas of your life? What can you plan for now? A bit more space to see what serves you each day? 

I invite you to reflect, journal and course correct if needed this upcoming week about your routines and habits. 

Love,
Laurin