Do you ever feel as though you can make a completely wrong choice that will just set you off in the wrong direction? 

I know I’ve stressed plenty over decisions or looking back as though I made a terrible mistake. Sure, sometimes with hindsight you may have made a different choice, but that doesn’t mean what you did was wrong or bad.

Over the years, I’ve come to truly know (and frequently remind myself) that ‘you cannot mess up your life.’  

Just because you get a learning rather than instantaneous fulfillment, all it means is you did the best you could with what you knew and could do at the time. 

Sometimes I’m frustrated with myself and tell myself “I knew better! I can’t believe I did that?” 

One helpful reminder is to assume that regardless of the situation you’re in you do always co-create your reality. Whether consciously or unconsciously…you’re calling in more when things fall apart or don’t work out as you hoped or expected. You’re not a victim to it and it wasn’t an accident.

What helps me recenter is to ask myself a few questions in a meditative state. 

Think about something you may look back on and wish it had happened differently?

Ask yourself:

1. What did I gain from making that choice? Even when you didn’t like the outcome, you benefited in ways that you were seeking both consciously and unconsciously. It’s helpful to hold yourself accountable to see the specifics.
2. What did this choice end up giving you permission to change or uplevel? 
3. Who did you end up connecting to because of this choice? What learnings or new opportunities opened up because of it? 
4. Had you had the outcome you thought you really wanted, what would have been the downsides or drawbacks to you and your current life now? Look from that moment all the way until today. 

The goal is to know with certainty that even if you could go back, you wouldn’t want to. That’s when you know you’ve truly integrated your past and present and can move forward without potentially recreating a very similar circumstance.

I’ve back-tested this with so many things in my life. 

I used to say “I wish that hadn’t happened.” Or, “x was the wrong thing.” Or “I should have ____” Whether it was a breakup, an injury and fight with a friend “messing” up with something I wanted to create, making an investment, saying yes to something…this list goes on. 

Each time I knew whether I said it aloud, consciously or not, I was calling in more or something else. It may have taken me awhile to see, but when you’re ready to see your truth it’s always there for you. 

I truly don’t believe in good, bad, right and wrong in this way. There are different paths and journeys, different decisions. Of course in hindsight it would be great if something worked out with more ease or you followed through on an idea and then it became some billion dollar company or whatever it is for you. 
Holding onto what could’ve been only leads to a lack of presence and trust in yourself. 

What would it take for you to lean into even more trust and knowing for yourself? 

Maybe time yourself if you feel like there’s a lot you’re holding onto and free write in your journal for 10 minutes anything you wish would’ve been different then go through the questions above for each experience one by one. 

I can’t wait to hear the flow and gratitude that comes from you releasing anything that you’ve been clinging to. 

Love,
Laurin