Do you find yourself people pleasing?
Struggling to get in touch with or own your truth?
Do you tend to say yes when you mean to say no? 

If so, today’s find your flow message is for you. 

It can be so easy to just get in the habit of saying yes to other people’s requests, agendas and priorities but when you do this…what’s the cost? 

If you show up overwhelmed, distracted or resentful, is it really showing up? And, is it showing up how you truly desire? 

Here are some questions you can ask when you’re unclear whether or not something is an authentic yes for you. 

1. Does it match your top three priorities right now? 

2. Do you have the time and space to go easily?

3. Does it feel inspiring for you?

If you’re not a yes to all three–it’s ok to honor your no. 

Even if there’s a moment of guilt, fear around letting someone down, disappointment you can’t fit it all in…trust that just because you are capable and can say yes to anything, it doesn’t mean that’s what serves you most at this time. 

If you get a no, trust that’s best. If you get a yes, regardless of how inconvenient, trust you can and will find a way. 

What if you could move from just being somewhere physically to only showing up when you feel aligned energetically, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I get it, that’s a lot to ask for. 

Sometimes you’ll have a yes to all three questions above. Sometimes you say yes because you’re making a choice that feels good in a different way. And, in the past maybe you said yes and then found yourself regretting your choice. This is the main one we’re trying to avoid so you don’t have to suffer and show up distressed. 

The intention today is to move from feeling scattered, resentful or overwhelmed into ease. 

Here are two types of scenarios: 

1. Wanting to say yes, but honoring your no. 

An example awhile back was an event I said yes to attend and paid for months out. I was really looking forward to it as well. Somehow as the event got closer I knew it wasn’t my most aligned choice. 

Then, an opportunity for a level 2 kundalini training that same weekend came up which was much more in line with my practice and study at the time. 

I felt guilty changing my mind, missing out with my friends and I had already paid for the whole thing. Every time I thought about going though it didn’t feel right.  

It’s interesting because I was a yes to the first two questions, but a no to the third one. I chose to honor my no and gift my ticket to someone else. 

Sometimes even when it’s inconvenient, the outcome is even better than expected for all involved. It was life changing for the woman that went, and I felt ease in following what was most in flow for myself and trusting the money was well invested in many aspects and would come back in another way. 

2. Getting a no, but choosing to make it a yes. 

Sometimes this is exactly what you want. Even though it may not be ideal timing or something that’s truly inspiring for you, for whatever reason you want to show up and say yes. 

Now, the choice is how to show up in a way that feels most aligned for you. 

Here’s an example. I had a wedding years ago that didn’t feel like a fit for a few reasons, and I also had a very inspiring opportunity that same night that was an easy yes. 

Even though I was a no to the wedding, I couldn’t settle into a no. I wanted to make it work. 

I decided I really wanted to go support my friend but that I needed to be honest. Instead of entering the conversation feeling guilty, I went into it with the intention of deepening our connection and celebrating her in a way that would give us quality time together. 

I got clear what could work for me and co-created a beautiful experience for us together before the wedding. She was so graceful and appreciative and liked our co-creation even better.

I went to the reception for two hours and when I walked into the room it was a completely aligned decision and so many beautiful connections took place with friends I hadn’t seen in awhile. 

I felt guided in the most wonderful way and left with so much gratitude. Had I gone for an entire day, I don’t think I could’ve held that vibration and enthusiasm for being there. 

I made this feel aligned for me by using my tools in my car for about 15 minutes parked outside the event. I linked my values, did my body scanning and felt ease and gratitude for my choice. 

What are your habits around saying yes? 

I’d love to hear. 

Love,
Laurin