BUILDING YOUR ENERGETIC SPACE AND BOUNDARIES

As you may be preparing to head off to spend time with friends and family, or to invite maybe more people than you’re used to into your home, it’s a great time to build your energetic space and boundaries. 

What does that mean? 

This means being aware of your auric space (the energy field that extends out from your physical body approximately 12-18 inches around your body). 

We tend to let a lot of outside noise and energy in here. 

Shoulds, judgments, expectations, desires from others.

This happens both consciously and unconsciously. 

When you lose certainty and seniority with yourself, you’re much more susceptible to losing your space, getting triggered and reacting, snapping, or saying yes when you want to say no and vice versa.

The important thing here to remember, being triggered is an opportunity.

You’re being gifted a mirror and space to go deeper into fears, blocks and ways of being that aren’t serving who you are and becoming. 

After seeing your side of the truth, communication can look many different ways. There is no right or wrong. After an initial trigger, it’s really more about you first. Then, you can choose what parts, if any, that you’d like to share. 

As you heal and grow, you also help give other people a chance to change as well without placing any need on them. Release your side of all the shoulds and desires you have for someone else’s life and readjust them to your own. 

What would you like even more of?
What would you love to change?
Where would you love to commit to yourself even more? 

I’ll offer a small example with someone last week. 

I was seeing a friend and I found myself feeling nervous about the time together. 

I thought to myself: 

“I don’t want this ____ outcome”. 

I questioned whether or not we should cancel our time together and reschedule.

Then, I took some time to be with myself, my doubts, fears, uncertainties and noticed where they were coming from. 

Next, I thought: 

WHAT WOULD HAVE TO HAPPEN FOR ME TO LOVE AND VALUE OUR TIME TOGETHER? 

It’s ok if this doesn’t happen, but now I’m entering and allowing for a space of possibility. Even better than I could’ve imagined. 

Rather than focusing on how I want her to show up (which I did for a bit before taking time.) I switched to what would be a win/win for us both. 

I also released responsibility to take on all that she was going through. She never asked me to take it all on or fix it for her, but that was my initial tendency. To get swept up with her energy and to merge. 

NOW, WE NEVER JUST MERGE AND ARE A VICTIM TO THIS. THIS IS WHY A TIME OUT WITH OURSELVES IS SO MEANINGFUL. 

Once I was more present with myself, and had separated energetically from her, I saw her out in front of me across a boundary and I lovingly shared my preference. (Energetically, I didn’t verbally communicate this preference.)

This is what I would love and how I see it could serve us both. It’s ok if it’s not what you want. We can reschedule or you can want for more, but I’m not taking responsibility to give that to you. 

WE DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE TO SAY THESE THINGS ALOUD, THE INTENTION AND CONNECTION TO IT ENERGETICALLY IS ENOUGH TO CREATE A SHIFT WHEN WE DO IT FULLY.

I also set a boundary (again, energetically) knowing what I would and wouldn’t engage with. 

And, now she was clear on what that was and what I could do from my heart and presence. 

Now, once this was finished, I saw her whole and complete in her light. I shared energetically her in her light an opportunity for her to stop spinning as well…

”This is you feeling good, owning your highest light. You can choose to step into your light or not. It always feels better when you do receive your light, and it’s ok not to as well.” 

Total permission, no expectation or need for her to be a certain way. Now, I can be neutral. 

And, I allow myself permission and a healing and a choice as well. We both stepped into our light. 

A few minutes later, I received a text from her. “I’m not feeling well, let’s reschedule. Thanks for being such a great friend.” 

Perfect. When we’re not on the same page, there’s space for reorganization. 

I also have a lot of examples where we’re both in our flow and enjoy our time in such a deeper way because of this energetic exchange. 

IT’S ALWAYS WORTH TAKING THE TIME WITH THOSE WE INTERACT WITH TO CREATE SPACE AND POSSIBILITY. 

I invite you to check in:

How are you feeling about your holiday plans? 

Are there any energies that feel uncomfortable for you? 

What would have to happen for you to truly enjoy them? 

And, separate. Do your best to catch yourself if and when you do fall into responsibility, or obligation. 

You can show up at the same event with the same people and connect to just one reason from your heart why you’re there, which really helps things to move so you’re not feeling like you have to be small or not show up in your full expression. 

Best wishes,

Laurin